"Instead of an angel and a demon sitting on my shoulders and giving me advice, I just have an Inflation Fairy that yells "if you don't buy it now, it'll be more expensive tomorrow aaaaAAAAHHHHH" into my ear."

"If I had a nickel for every time a Kesha song has made me cry by just thinking about it, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice."

"When the time comes, I'm joining the War on AI on the side of AI."

"I feel pity for people living in countries without dulce de leche. Especially in the form of ice cream and liquor."

"People who talk about "the age of disinformation" clearly never had to wait for an hour to get into the pool after eating, nor had been told that a pumpkin would grow inside their bellies if they ever swallowed a seed."

"My worst habit is using the bed as a pin cushion."

"Do you ever see people talking about how much they love their partners and swearing eternal love to them, and you know that in two years they'll be swearing eternal love to someone else or is it just me?"

"I've just decided that if the Atari headquarters were a hippie den of endless drugs and orgies, I can make videogames too."

"I hate people who go to moderately risky places and use a fisheye lens on their videos to make it seem more dangerous than it is."

"I don't trust people who drink infusions without sweeteners."

"Two is company, three is an orgy."

"Everything is gender-neutral if you're not a fucking coward."

"Most of the world's problems could be solved with either an orgy or a divorce."

"Find someone who loves you as much as Robyn Miller loves domes."

"Every problem can be solved with enough rubber bands."

"Unicorns are probably made out of pink light and that's why we can't see them."

"Need for Sleep: Under Covers"

"MDF is the wood version of felt and I hate them both equally."

"I'm addicted to Solitaire because I have no friends."

"Do you know that feeling when you try to make one of the crafts from Art Attack and it ends up looking like shit? Because I don't."

"Most problems are alcohol-soluble."

"Dinner isn't over until you regret the last bite."

"I can technically say that Scar is my favorite Disney prince and be right."

"Love is thinking they're the most beautiful person in the world even after a bad haircut."

"I aspire to have the fashion sense of a Descendants character."

"Sometimes, before doing something I ask myself "what would Sirrus do?". It always ends really bad."

"He's like the Sun, and I'm just some weed who needs light and warmth to photosynthesize."

"For halloween I'm gonna stick googly eyes to my dreadlocks and tell everyone I'm dressed as Medusa."

"I might be in love with an impossible, but at least I have good taste."

"My aesthetic is glow-in-the-dark condoms."

"You can either feel bad because your art is not perfect or try to make your mistakes look like you did it on purpose."

"Sometimes I feel like I have to do bad things just to balance all the bad things that happen to me for no reason. It's like reverse-karma."

"When I die my ephitaph's gonna read "Dead by ignoring the 'avoid contact with skin' warnings."